Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Because I said so...

Please tell me there are other moms out there reading this who have difficulty with the whole discipline issue. I am typing this while in the midst of a "time out" with Jackson. I swear, it's as if he woke up this morning with the devil on his shoulder. I spent thirty minutes walking him back to his time out corner over and over again. I had absolutely no emotion on my face, didn't say a word to him, yet it didn't work. He just kept getting up and laughing this mischievous laugh that drives me crazy. He is now in his room and I refuse to let him come out until his behavior changes.

Sometimes I feel like a complete failure as a mother. Don't get me wrong, the majority of the time he's a fantastic little boy. Mornings are usually my favorite time with him - snuggling on the sofa watching a cartoon together, him nuzzling up to me and telling me he "loves me so much". But mornings like this throw me for a loop. I feel like he's striving for attention of some sort, therefore negative attention must be the easiest for him to achieve. What does that say about me as a mom? Does he truly find it easier to get me yelling and pulling my hair out rather than giving him positive praise? Thus why I begin to beat myself up.

I know this is all just part of the journey in parenthood, but it's hard not to get discouraged sometimes. We all want only the best for our children. When you see them struggling with something and you feel that you're doing everything possible to help them yet the struggle continues - it's exhausting. There are times I feel we're coming over the other end of this mountain we've been climbing over the last two years. Jackson is such an amazing little guy and now that he's understanding things more and more, it's gotten easier. But every once and awhile, I feel like we're at the very foot of the mountain again. I suppose it comes with the territory of raising a four year old, right? Right??

Vent over now.

1 comment:

  1. Girl I know what you mean. Just the other day (this would be the day they went to the petting zoo), Damian got a hold of his arts and craft box and painted the walls, his chair, his book shelf and everything on it with RED paint. I came home and he was sitting on the couch with this serious expression on his face and jumped up when I walked through the door. He told me he did somehting really bad in his room. I walked into his room and my mom was scrubing and wiping down the walls, the carpet, and anything else with RED paint on it. Girl I was floored. I immediately told Damian to go back into the living room and sit and jumped in helping my mom. Luckily the paint was washable, so it came off of the everything. There is till some hint of red in the carpet where I put some carpet spot remover, so I am going to go back over that area. I was so mad. I really had to put myself in a mental timeout before I discipled Damian. I didn't need Child Protective Services coming after me.