Saturday, May 15, 2010

Remembering to reflect

Over the last few nights, Charlie has decided to go back to being a newborn. He is literally waking up every two hours on the dot. I know he's not waking from hunger - he just wants the comfort of being in his mommy's arms. Last night was pretty brutal. He woke at 2:30 to eat and was up again at 4:15. I decided to try and let him self soothe himself, which I quickly realized was not going to happen. So I then resorted to the pacifier and Charlie looked at me like I was a crazy woman. He couldn't understand why I wasn't picking him up and comforting him. It broke my heart into a million pieces. This went on until 5:00 until I couldn't take it anymore and picked him up. He nursed for only a few precious moments and he was asleep again.

It wasn't until I was feeding him this morning after he woke that I had a revelation. He was staring into my eyes while eating and I paused to reflect on the fact that he is growing so fast. He will be six months next week and I can't fathom how so much time has already passed. He went from being a blob in my arms to this active, alert baby. Before I know it, he'll be cruising around the house, eating regular food, and ultimately sleeping through the night. As much as I'll adore getting a full night of sleep again, I will miss nursing him. I will miss this closeness I share with him in those dark, quiet nights.

When they say to enjoy every moment because it goes so fast, they weren't kidding. It seems that time goes faster with each day. I think it's because as moms, we're so focused on getting through each day, we forget to just pause and reflect. Sleep can be replaced... this short amount of time with my little boys can't. I need to remember to stop sometimes and savor these days when my babies are just that - babies.

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